Monthly Archives: June 2007

Forty Hours

Part of my response to Henry Cloud’s book Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality has been to look my work habits square in the eye.  I am now keeping a log of what I actually do with my time from day to day.  It’s been eye-opening, to say the least.  From reading to surfing the internet to taking a break for coffee or to respond to some need Amy or Daniel has to simply staring into space fighting off a temptation to drift off into a brooding funk, time slips away far too easily.  Time when words could be inching on to the page, which, in the end, is the work I’m about these days.

So this week, the goal is simple.  To spend 40 hours actually writing.  To work my work the way everyone works their work.  To show up and hammer away at what’s in front of me, no excuses.  Of course, there’s part of me that is yet again embarrassed to be putting this out in the world for perusal because it begs the question: “if you haven’t been writing 40 hours, what in the world have you been doing?”

Writing, sure.  But not really pushing up against the inner barriers that keep me from making the next leap.  I’ve been working project to project, and when the work is done for that day, I let it be done.  But somehow, I can sense in my bones that there’s a laziness in that, that to move on into the next hour and the next hour, though I may be dry and have nothing of inspiration pouring out of me, is to prepare for the arrival of words and sentences and stories that will only come out through deep digging, the hard labor of going on today.

So yesterday, I wrote for 8 hours.  I started at 8:30 a.m. and didn’t finish until 8:15 p.m., due to the normal interruptions of the day.  And by the way, blogging doesn’t count. Preparing for our next Arts Ministry Meeting doesn’t count.  Lots of things that I used to think of as “work” don’t count, at least not in this particular experiment.

What am I working on?  Two things: the screenplay for Leaving Ruin, and an original folk musical for Christmas at the Northwest Church.    The focus of the past week has really been fun, and I’m growing increasingly fond of and excited about both projects.  We’ll see what the 8 hours brings today.

Got to get to work…

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Integrity, The Wake

Here’s a results-oriented book for you: Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality, by Dr. Henry Cloud. Henry Cloud is a name I’ve heard a couple of times before from friends at Willow, but I’ve never read one of his books. He’s a clinical psychologist who many people know as “the Boundaries guy,” Cloud having written a book with that title that’s sold over a million copies.  He is also one of the teachers featured on the DVD  I worked on in the spring called Regroup.

What’s compelling about this book is the way he rephrases what we already know, but somehow lack the courage to face. Cloud reminds me that character is what really determines our success and failure in life, and that we are pretty much where we are because of who we are. My favorite image from the book is what he calls “the wake.” Like a boat plowing through the ocean, we leave a wake behind us, and to read the wake is to read a lot about where we are. On the other hand, though, Cloud’s purpose is not to beat us up with what we have and haven’t done, but rather to simply face squarely the feedback the wake is giving us so that positive change can occur as we work to keep the boat on keel.

For Cloud, the wake has two sides, the task side and the people side. And just as a golf course gives you a certain kind of feedback in the form of a final score, so the wake gives you feedback that is impervious to excuses, rationales, etc. (Cloud’s book doesn’t really address the experience of playing golf–regardless of the final score–but his assumption is that you step onto a golf course to shoot the best score you can, and to have the most rewarding time while you’re doing it.)

So I’ve embarked on a process of looking back over my “wake” in terms of tasks and people.  It’s eye-opening and painful to look starkly into the reality of what I’m doing, what I’m not doing, the excuses I’m making, and the rationalizing, fudging, and lazing about.  Reality isn’t easy to see, and isn’t easy to live in.  Truth is, lots of good is in the wake, but there’s stuff I need to face up to, people I need to hold up with more strength and commitment, and work tasks that I need to stop avoiding.

We all have places to grow.   Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality will help you do that.

Worth a read…

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Willow Creek, Dawkins, and Cloud

Last Tuesday morning, I flew back to Chicago to teach and perform at the Willow Creek Arts Conference.  After a dip in last year’s attendance, this year’s conference attracted around 5000 from around the country, all of them involved in various ministries in their local churches.  Musicians, actors, writers, dancers, technicians, and many of the pastors that lead them were there to be encouraged, trained, and renewed.  It’s a privilege to get to be a part of the team that is working with these artists.   I flew home Friday morning both inspired and refreshed, my state of mind better than its been in awhile.  But it wasn’t just the time with my friends Steve Pederson, Mark Demel and Rod Armentrout, and it wasn’t just the inspiring keynote given by National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones, and it wasn’t just the warm response I got from the folks attending my classes and watching Leaving Ruin.

Partially, it was the reading of two books that have each challenged me to face some realities in my life.

The first was Richard Dawkins The God Delusion.   My last blog entry was about the new Atheists that are dotting the NY Times Bestseller lists, and I decided to get one of the books and actually read it.  Dawkins is a fine writer and obviously a deeply thoughtful and intelligent man who is serious about the damage he believes religion does to the world.   I’m still working on my specific response to many of the points in the book, but what the read did for me is to challenge my thinking about why I believe what I believe. In other words, it called me to examine the reality of my faith and my reasoning behind it, both on the intellectual side and the experiential side.  There are issues related to the text of the Bible that Dawkins raises that need to be addressed in my own study.  And it is plain that–given that he does not believe in God–he is working very hard to come up with a Darwinian rationale for what he plainly sees is a stunning and glorious world.  What do you do when the glory of God is in your bones, but there’s no God?   For me, where the book really fails to convince is when it comes to finding a basis for morality outside the realm of God.

What Dawkins refutes is that the Bible is the basis for morality, which he assumes is the stance of most Christians.  Philosophically speaking, my thinking is that it is not the Bible that is the basis for morality.  It is the character of God as poured into us by means of God placing his image inside us.  In other words, if for some reason there were no Bible to read, we would still live as if there were good and evil to discover.   Granted, it’s the Bible that gives us the knowledge to understand this, if we buy the thrust of what the Genesis story is telling us about humanity.

But I will also confess that I am curious about Dawkins’ eloquent defense of natural selection.  I keep expecting him to capitalize it, as in ‘Natural Selection’ because he constantly speaks of it as having will and direction.  He claims (and for the moment, I grant it to him) that natural selection is the very opposite of “chance.”  So Francis Schaeffer’s accusation that people like Dawkins are selling us “time + chance + nothing” is supposedly bogus.

Dawkins’ argument is mostly built on the idea that small probabilities are legitimate, while large improbabilities are not, and that the leap from what Schaeffer would call “nothing-nothing” into “something” is a small step from an infinitely simple thing that is unknown to a slightly more complex “singularity” that then begins the eons long process that has led us to now.  He rejects God primarily because God is the biggest improbability of all, and because God cannot, by default, be known by any emperical means.  God is not material, therefore he is monstrously improbable and outside the realm of scientific observation and study: therefore, he does not exist.

I hesitate to write anything about this book or my process with it, because the demands of taking on Dawkins and the rest of the atheists in point by point discussion and dialogue could easily take over mental energy and space that would stop all other activities.  My take is that I will continue to read and look for answers, as well as examine my own reasons for my faith in God.

As I sat at Willow, worshipping, watching the worshippers, seeing the joy and hunger of the people there, I couldn’t help but wonder what a world in which no one believed in God would be like.  Somehow, I can’t see how it would be a better world.   Dawkins trots out the worst of believers to shore up his honest contempt for religion, but it seems unbelievably naive of someone of his intellect to gloss the good that comes from those of us following Christ.  It is also naive, or just plain ignorant and disrespectful, to assume   that all religious people are intellectual pigmies.  He makes us sound pretty silly with rhetoric that is designed to do just that.  Maybe I’m just locked inside my own set of cultural glasses, but a world without God looks far, far darker than a world where God offers hope of love and peace.  I know, I know, fundamentalists are prone to dive off the deep end into wars and destruction, but that is not be set at God’s feet.

We are a broken people.

The other book I’ll write about tomorrow: Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality.

By the way, Dawkins never takes on the concept of evil…curious…

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Evangelical Atheists

Atheism is on the offensive.  The slew of new books out (none of which I’ve read yet) by people like Christopher Hutchins (God is Not Great — #11 at Amazon), Sam Harris (The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason and Letter to a Christian Nation), and Richard Dawkins (The God Delusion – #69 at Amazon)  are aimed at the heart of the Christian message.  I offer no critique of these books as of yet, but after reading the recent Newsweek article, “The God Debate” which pitted Rick Warren against Sam Harris, I can’t help but wish for a C.S. Lewis or a Francis Schaeffer to help us out.  I know men and women of that intellectual stature are out there, but we sure don’t hear from them very often.

I’ve been a bit lazy intellectually lately.  My adventures in photography engaged a very different part of my brain, and my brooding has decreased accordingly.  But as far as atheism goes, here’s my problem (one of them): I can’t explain morality in a God-less world.  The existence of a moral impulse in humanity seems undeniable.  It’s in the very fabric of our language.   We plan the future based on some notion that is will be “better” then than it is now.  We use words like “good” and “great” and we feel the force of objects, events, and people that can be described as “good” and “great.”   Justice is preached constantly, but without God, I cannot understand the ground or first cause of any notion of justice.  I suppose we believe in justice, truth, and beauty simply because we do.  Emperically, there is no doubt that these concepts exist.

But why?  Is there any other creature that suffers under the weight of acting against their nature?  How are we able to make choices that seem to run against our nature?  How do we sin?  What is sin?  What is wrongdoing?  There are many answers to these questions, most all of them couched in the language of me vs. you, us vs. them.  What is good is what is good for me or my group.  What is good for all is undiscoverable (unless of course it matches up with what is good for me).   If good for all is undiscoverable, then why do we pretend that it is?  Is it just pragmatism, that the notion of good somehow works, so we use it?

I am certainly willing to entertain the idea that I’m wrong.  I may be wrong about most things,  but as unthinkable as God is to the atheists of our time, no-God is at least as unthinkable to me.  Complexity, beauty, art, self-sacrifice…all of these make no sense to me as time plus chance plus nothing.

..read Dick Staub on this one…

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Kids Performing

I spent the weekend watching my children perform.  First it was Daniel in the opening show of the second weekend of Roosevelt High School’s Thoroughly Modern Millie.  It was a first class show by some sixty wonderful performers, and of course, I always enjoy watching Daniel sing and dance.  Then Anjie and I caught a plane to Cincinnati where Amy was finishing up her first year at the University of Cincinnati’s College Conservatory of Music in the Drama Department.  Amy was performing in a freshman showcase featuring 11 of the 15 people in their class.   Amy was great, as always, has obviously grown a lot this year and seems sincerely happy to be working hard and traveling this journey with her new friends and colleagues there at CCM.   I was very impressed by the overall level of work I saw, and as a parent watching my daughter prepare for a career in “the business”, I feel good about the level of training she’s getting.  She landed a major part in one of the mainstage shows for the fall, and continues to be excited about her opportunities.

Anjie, Amy, and I came back home Sunday morning and got here in time to go to Daniel’s closing performance, which was stellar.  It’s great to be together again as a family, and to have my sister Jody here as well.

There is no way to describe how it feels to watch these kids of mine perform.  I suppose it’s just joy.  People say “You must be proud” and of course I am.  I am much prouder of the people they are turning out to be than I am of their theatrical gifts.  They handle themselves with such grace and strength, and are light years ahead of where I was at that age, and that brings me more joy than I can say.  Their gifts for the theatre are what they are, and though I suppose I’ve had a bit to do with the nurturing of those gifts, they’re the ones who are doing the work and offering it back to the world.  I am thrilled for their freedom, their confidence, and the hope they have in their futures.

I wish  you all could have seen them.   In the future, I think there’s a good chance many people will see their work.   I can’t wait…

I could watch them work everyday…

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