Monthly Archives: December 2008

December 28, 2008 · 6:29 am

Early Sunday Morning

No new snow this morning. The scene out the window is mostly back to normal–the roofs of the neighborhood dark again. I haven’t coughed yet–good sign–and soon it will be time to get dressed and head to church. Prayer has seen an uptick, and the time spent with God has been sweeter than usual. Can’t explain why, although, again, the kind of praying I’ve been doing seems like old praying, sitting with God instead of treating Him like a short order cook who’s there to fix all our stuff. Time is on my mind, the passage of it, the length of it, the sheer ineffability of it. I’ll be fifty before long, and time markers are all around me. It’s not that I feel old. It’s more like a feeling of being further down a pathway than I’d realized. I thought I was five hundred miles from the destination, but suddenly I pass a highway sign that says I’m ninety miles away. Lots of traveling left, and the companions are dear and strong and full of life, but the terrain is changing. It is more stark and more lush all at once, and I’d love to slow my steps just to take it all in with more fullness.

I spent a couple of hours last night doing the annual perusal of the web, the visual culture that now expresses itself on YouTube and Itunes and Facebook. Looking at the top ten videos and the top ten viral videos and other such popular visual and musical events. The culture is rich with artistic content, and I’m gratified that imagination, narrative, collage, and other forms are alive and well, perhaps valued more than they’ve ever been, creating opportunity for more and more artists to actually make a living at their respective crafts. It seems both a wonderful and terrible thing. I followed a youth gang roaming the streets of France inflicting violence on mere passersby, watched a young woman crying out for help in a powerful music video simply and appropriately titled “Oh, My God,” and took in various mockeries that are so ubiquitous on YouTube. The smorgasbord of ideas and images is not infinite, but it seems like it. Ten years ago, it was fun to find odd things and show them to my ACU class and feel like I might be ahead of them on the curve. That, of course, is a ridiculous idea today. It’s hard to know what to think of it all.

No final point to this entry, except to say that we live in an exciting time, a dangerous time, a hard time full of all the opportunity for good and evil that has always plagued the race. And I believe that the life of the mind, the life of the imagination, the life of our cognitive reasoning and all the material life that flows from it…that all of this is ours for a reason, that God has gifted us in order choose and create the world alongside Him. That kingdom plot of ground I’m always talking about is packed with rich, deep earth, and the time to plant is now.

What will we make of it?

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December 26, 2008 · 7:08 am

Thoughts on Gifts

joy

The ravaged paper is in sacks to be tossed (if the trash man ever comes again), ribbons and bows worth keeping have been culled to be kept in a box for another round at birthdays or next Christmas, and the shirts and sweaters and new journal and the other things have been stacked and carried upstairs. The tree stands alone again, no longer nestling the color-burst packages, and even the snow seems to know the whole exercise is over for another year.

There’s a movement afoot critical of all this stuff-giving, and I’m mostly on board with it. It does seem silly to buy these things (things being the operative word), while the world can’t get water, food, or medicine. But then again, as Greg Wolfe says (Image Magazine), there are different poverties to be worked against, and somehow the old crass stuff-giving is a small, sometimes ineffective, attempt to punch a hole in the poverty of appreciation and affection that is so missing in relationships. I’m all for pulling back the dollars spent, and redirecting it toward ending stupid poverty, but I don’t think gift-giving at Christmas is silly at all. The commercialism, yes. The orgy of spending, yes. But the moment in which one person mulls over another person’s heart, and tries to imagine what small thing might bring a bit of pleasure–even joy–to those they love…those are not wasted moments.

Truth be told, we are broken people who regularly forget how special the people in our lives are. We ignore them, we undervalue them, we under-thank them, and so often, “thank-yous” and “I appreciate you” and even “I love you” goes so unsaid. And a Christmas present is no substitute for the eye-to-eye moments when true love, appreciation, and gratefulness are shown, but as in all culture, inner life and spiritual exchange always (or nearly always) takes shape in material form, and a present, if thought over carefully, can truly be an extension of the heart.

So, yes…let’s redirect much of our wealth toward a world that is hurting. Our church didn’t participate in the Advent Conspiracy this year, but next year I think we’ll push for it. At the same time, let’s assume there’s a bit of heart-poverty in all those we love, and let’s dig wells of appreciation and thankfulness there, spending the coinage of imagination to decide how to up the quality of our gifts while spending less hard cash.

Here’s to the gifts that lift hearts…

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December 25, 2008 · 7:47 am

At Home on a White Christmas

Watching the Star

So I’m up at 6:00 a.m., and by 7:00 the snow flakes are an inch thick. Probably one of the two or three times in my life where Christmas morning has been picture postcard perfect. No need to dream of a white Christmas, because it’s here. Having my first cup of coffee, sounds of Anjie just now stirring, and thinking of what the next season of life will bring. Amy and Daniel will return to their respective colleges, the nuttiness of this December will pass, and it will be back to full-steam at the church, madly preparing for the ACU class (Arts and Culture: A Christian Aesthetic) which begins on Jan. 4th, and then there’s the Willow Creek Community Church project I’ve taken on which will make the first quarter of the year a bit harrowing, but exciting nonetheless.

But in this moment, as the furnace rumbles back on, as the street lamp outside the front window clicks on and off every few minutes, as the thump of footsteps signals someone thinking about getting serious about this Christmas gift business, I am somehow back at home. Sometimes you don’t even know you’ve been gone. The past couple of weeks, on two different occasions, I’ve found myself at my upstairs desk, first piddling, then working, then looking up an hour later and realizing a certain familiar comfort has entered the room, and it’s hard to identify, but it’s surely the former hours of writing the novels and plays coming to visit, complaining that I haven’t been there lately. And I say, yeah, I know. But, I say, don’t worry, I’m headed back. A few stories are percolating, some old, some new, and though the time isn’t yet quite right, it will be soon

Emotions are fluctuating wildly these days, and why I don’t keep the deep quiet of early mornings a iron-clad priority is beyond me. I love this…I could not be more grateful for life, for what the coming of the Christ has meant to the world (thought I’m not always sure we have it’s meaning down pat), and for my family and friends. I miss my Mom and my sister this holiday–they’re Christmasing in Texas–but I’m so grateful for this, the first Christmas with the kids home from college. Last night, we sat late into the night chatting and singing and asking silly questions from a book called The Christmas Question, a conversation starter sort of thing. Amy laughed and Daniel grinned and Anjie dozed and I plucked old songs. Finally we gave it up and went to sleep.

Snow’s done, looks like. Anjie’s (or Santa, depending….) putting out a few last minute presents, and the dining room light just came on. Time to start to move. We’ll do the gift thing, then head to Enumclaw for the annual Meal Incredible at my brother-in-law’s house. The sadness that’s been nipping at me lately is dormant, and I could not be more blessed.

Nothing but thankful…

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December 23, 2008 · 9:43 am

Crazy December

I know it should be snow, but...

It’s two days before Christmas, and my writing life has come to a full stand-still, much like the street-life around my house over the past few days. Everyone knows the snow and ice have shut things down…the NW Church canceled its Sunday service last week for the first time in anyone’s memory. I was sick the first two weeks of the month, and though I’m still coughing and hacking every night, yesterday I felt almost like myself. The kids being home is great–their energy has been a huge boost around here. Not that they’ve done anything in particular–the shopping for the tree was fun (see photos on facebook), as was the Christmas decorating evening, and we’ve watched our two traditional Christmas movies (White Christmas and It’s a Wonderful LIfe), but what brings me the greatest comfort is just seeing them in the morning, getting a hug here and there, laughing as they bring their friends through. Amy and Daniel are both on the cusp of their lives, and they practically glow with all the promise and possibility of youth. It’s a gift to them and to Anjie and I, that we get to see snatches of that God-granted greatness of life.

And then tonight, we get to hear both of them sing, which will be phenomenal, given that we can get there. But something tells me even if we skate of the side of the road ten times, we’ll be in the chairs when Daniel’s Cabaret begins. I hear it will be a night to remember.

Winter Night

For me, I’m in the process of setting goals and imagining what the new year will look like. I’m hitting fifty in four and a half months, and as expected, reflection, taking stock, and re-inventing are all in order. New opportunities and currents of energy are presenting themselves, and it’s time to hold the choosing “up to the light” as David Wilcox says. Anjie and I talked about it all last night, and things are becoming somewhat clearer, even as I battle through a profound sadness about certain parts of my life. Yes, I know, I tend to use the word “profound” far too often…it’s a bit pompous as a descriptor. But still, I keep thinking I’ve come to the ultimate experience of a particular emotion, and lo and behold, I turn the corner, and new heights and depths await. I guess there is no end to things, no end to feelings and discoveries and territories.

Winter Reflection

So we’ll see what today brings…

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December 2, 2008 · 7:24 am

Advent Photos

worship-band-advent-day-1

Midlife Chrysler Leading Worship at the NW Church.

In Spring 2007, I took photos every day during the Lent and Easter seasons, and it was a watershed time. I can’t explain why exactly, but seeing things through the lens of a camera somehow shifted my thinking, got me out of a rut of some kind. Well, I’ve decided to do the same thing this year with Advent. Not to say that I’ll be taking Christmas pictures, but just that I’m going to be looking through the camera lens…a lot. So if you see me in December, you’re going to see me with a camera. Do your best to ignore me. I won’t go so far as to say I’ll be posting here everyday, but I’ll be posting a bunch. Nothing fancy, just what happens to catch my eye. (I even took pictures of the congregation as I preached Sunday morning.) Who knows what I’ll have at the end of the day?

Roland on the First Day of Advent

My friend Roland at our Life Group on the first day of Advent.

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