So I climbed out of bed, showered, got dressed, and headed for Javasti’s, where I got my cup of coffee and a scone I wasn’t supposed to get (just a little push and pull with an ongoing discipline–lost this battle for a number of reasons), and sat at the outdoor table relishing an amazingly beautiful morning. Foggy again, but sun coloring the lower clouds pink and other shades of red (as far as I could tell). Then I went wandering the streets I always wander, marveling over the reds of the leaves, the fire in the trees.
Praying all the way, just the ol’ conversation with God, a reflection on His presence in history, knowing that regardless of what goes happens this morning, He is leading, making the way, loving us into tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. Nothing new here, this awkward movement of chess pieces–that’s how one woman described it yesterday. I don’t think it’s a game, though (and I don’t think that’s what she meant), but it’s fair to say that God is the primary player in all the movement on the board.
Who knows how lives will change as a result of today’s events at our little church? Of course, that can be honestly asked everyday with all events. The smallest things impact us, send us reeling, comfort us, create new realities and illusions depending on our sensitivity and honesty. The interconnectedness of all things at the molecular level means that causes and effects can’t always be discerned, so any given action may or may not be “graspable” in its unfolding.
All I mean is that we want to know why. Certainly any change brings cries of “why.” Why? Truth is, the why is so layered and profound that we can only know its edges. Not that we shouldn’t try to grasp what we can, bring our best thinking to analysis and creative response, but in the end, there is a fundamental mystery in God’s working in the world. We are not in control, a statement heard so often and yet so often ignored.
My task this morning is to open my hand to God in real time, and allow Him to wake me up to what He’s about, and to speak thusly.
I love Seattle in the fog of Autumn….
JEFF BERRYMAN 