I haven’t been writing lately. I’ve been putting words down in other forms…sermon outlines, meeting agendas, mission/vision statements, action plan bullet points. Lots of creativity in all that, I know, but it’s different.
With this brand of cinnamon syrup, my lips tingle, and I’m wishing for something I’m not finding. There’s rain on the pavement, even though I can’t see the street from here. Cars sound like they’re rolling across something like smooth wax paper, kicking up streams of water behind the back tires. Gray, bulbous clouds hover over the electrical wires running down toward the freeway. My house sleeps, quiet like Saturday mornings, my wife already at work, the kids snoozing the lazy snooze of Christmas break. I type out a prayer, waffling back and forth between praise and incredulity, wondering out loud where He’s keeping the magic. The magic’s there, I know, but I seem to be fresh out.
The day holds a wrestling match with righteousness, tomorrow’s sermon topic. A simple thought that came to me as I emerged from sleep three days ago has become a mantra demanding to be addressed. Speaking of Joseph, the nearly forgotten foster father of the Christ, the text says simply, “He was a righteous man.” There’s a bomb to toss into a cynical postmodern world. All things are possible with God, Gabriel tells Mary. I guess Paul was making a theological point when he growled that no one was righteous, not one. Sorry, Paul, Matthew begs to differ. Joseph was.
Ah…you know what I mean.
Words. Sentences crafted so that images come slanting out of them all decked in new thought, new insight, new ah-ha’s. Not many of them heading my way just now, but I miss them.
I’ll write again sometime…
3 Replies to “Missing Words”
jeff, it’s so nice to hear your voice again! if i may speak for the rest of your readers, we miss those crafted sentences and images too.
i don’t envy this season of your life, though i get that these times must come and go and God works in them as he does in all else. when we moved up North last Spring, i was in one of those seasons. but it’s faded now into my current life which is speckled with solitude and slow living (as slow as one can get with two children and a husband whose season is more like yours). i am soaking in it while it lasts.
again, nice to hear your voice again! blessings.
Life is just too noisy sometimes, and I can’t write with all the noise. When I look back on my best writing, it came when there were long hours of boredom and loneliness (or romantic obsession, which resulted in slightly different text). Now those hours are already filled with job, home, family, friends, all clamoring for attention. Taking time out for writing seems so selfish.
How do you find the time?
I’m encouraged and inspired watching you, “Pressing on to what lies ahead…”, so thanks.
With any of us, we’re not comfortable, and it takes courage and faith, even walking towards light and a higher calling, when we can’t really see what lies between here and there.
Keep walking, with the knowledge of much power, through prayer behind you.