It’s two days before Christmas, and my writing life has come to a full stand-still, much like the street-life around my house over the past few days. Everyone knows the snow and ice have shut things down…the NW Church canceled its Sunday service last week for the first time in anyone’s memory. I was sick the first two weeks of the month, and though I’m still coughing and hacking every night, yesterday I felt almost like myself. The kids being home is great–their energy has been a huge boost around here. Not that they’ve done anything in particular–the shopping for the tree was fun (see photos on facebook), as was the Christmas decorating evening, and we’ve watched our two traditional Christmas movies (White Christmas and It’s a Wonderful LIfe), but what brings me the greatest comfort is just seeing them in the morning, getting a hug here and there, laughing as they bring their friends through. Amy and Daniel are both on the cusp of their lives, and they practically glow with all the promise and possibility of youth. It’s a gift to them and to Anjie and I, that we get to see snatches of that God-granted greatness of life.
And then tonight, we get to hear both of them sing, which will be phenomenal, given that we can get there. But something tells me even if we skate of the side of the road ten times, we’ll be in the chairs when Daniel’s Cabaret begins. I hear it will be a night to remember.
For me, I’m in the process of setting goals and imagining what the new year will look like. I’m hitting fifty in four and a half months, and as expected, reflection, taking stock, and re-inventing are all in order. New opportunities and currents of energy are presenting themselves, and it’s time to hold the choosing “up to the light” as David Wilcox says. Anjie and I talked about it all last night, and things are becoming somewhat clearer, even as I battle through a profound sadness about certain parts of my life. Yes, I know, I tend to use the word “profound” far too often…it’s a bit pompous as a descriptor. But still, I keep thinking I’ve come to the ultimate experience of a particular emotion, and lo and behold, I turn the corner, and new heights and depths await. I guess there is no end to things, no end to feelings and discoveries and territories.
So we’ll see what today brings…
JEFF BERRYMAN 